Book Review: June-Sept. 2009

"Hearing God": Dallas Willard
As the first book I completed on this trip - on the plane ride back from London in late June - I am grateful that this was indeed the forerunner of the literary gang. It proved to me foundational than I could have known when I borrowed it from a dear friend. Perhaps the most important thing I learned is that Scripture is often best digested in small pieces - it is better to deeply understand parts of Scripture and how they fit rather than read as much as one can and still lack any sort of understanding (paraphrase of Dallas Willard's thoughts). Very validating for me, who wrestled under the legalistic notions having to read the Bible every day to prove that I'm a good Christian - now, I actually want to read every day, but I've learned that it's actually very good to sometimes read the same thing for a few days, even if it is just one verse. Obviously, there is a lot more to this book, but I don't want to spoil it. It was really important for me on my journey, and I believe it is for most/all others truly straining to "hear voices." :-P
"Don't Waste Your Life": John Piper
I found this gem on the min bookshelf above the bed in the room I lived in in Saintfield for a total of a month. It really spoke to my black-hole questions of "What is my purpose?" "Why am I here?" "How is there meaning in anything?" "How do I not waste the few short years I have here?" "Does anything I do matter?" Pastor John Piper is a zealous preachy writer, but I am a zealous, preachy thinker so the two found lock-step quickly. His exhortations that only a life lived unto God - that is, living in a way that glorifies God and God alone - is the only thing that matters; all else is emptiness. For the time, this vague answer to "what is my purpose, God?" was very helpful. It even clarified a few things about "secular" vs. "religious" calling - like, sometimes, a secular calling is just as important (if not more) than a "religious" one because it is the secular world that still, by definition, remains "lost" and in need of the light of Christ. Parts of it made me very anxious, being on a two month plus trip of quite literally doing nothing, but still very inspirational - I love it when writers call readers to take RESPONSIBILITY for things they don't think they need to (that is a MAJOR issue of mine, clearly).
"The Wounded Woman": Steve Stephens and Pam Vredevelt
I read this gentle, sweet book intermittently - the chapters are designed as stand-alone units for whatever issue one might particularly be struggling with, such as anger, fear, trust, etc. It worked better for me to jump around rather than try to read straight through. I tried to reflect on the 4 questions provided at the end of each chapter as thoroughly as I could as I have been rather accused of lacking introspection (though, as I learned later there is such a thing as self-indulgent soul-searching that perpetuates the "me-me-me" culture who we have to thank for the "You are your own God" theology and, in my opinion, moral relativity). Written by a man and a woman (not married to each other) who have suffered deep blows in life, this book offers suggestions on how to heal in a very accessible, almost child-like but stern and serious, validating way. Obviously, these suggestions are not just for women; I think the title simply refers to how the book was written, not necessarily only what it said. While it was helpful, it didn't do what it really talked about people needing: that is, to love and be loved CONSISTENTLY in long-term relationships in a safe community. But, I wasn't expecting that from a book (it is just frustrating to hear so much talk of something I want SO deeply...). I didn't end up finishing it because I think that is geared more towards specific situations and instances rather than an overall "vague" pursuit of general healing.
"No Compromise": The Life Story of Keith Green": Melody Green and David Hazard
Wow. This book was amazing. Someone once very close sent this book to me in the mail as a complete surprise when I started getting into his music around March or so this past spring. A number of Keith Green's songs really did capture me, but I still, for whatever reason, honestly wasn't feeling that interested in it. When I first started reading it, it was painful because I saw a lot of myself in Keith - except without the drugs, the almost-fame caliber of talent (and it's not in the area of music, mostly, either), the extreme extrovertedness and the inseparable quality of friends. But, the seeking, the hard-after-truth determination that sometimes sends those of us (Keith included) extravagantly emotional types into deep, dark pits of confused, anxious, crazy-making depression, the frustration and pain of being consistently misunderstood, the all-or-nothing level of wanting so much to know and be known...I felt myself wishing similar thoughts as I had in a car with my dad driving through Utah listening to Rich Mullins: that I had discovered him before his death. This book proved to be a source of comfort and encouragement that there were other "confused" Christians that don't have all the answers but are really just wanting truth. Although the writing wasn't superb, I couldn't put it down (much like William P. Young's 'The Shack'). This book shook my very soul and I couldn't put it down until I was finished reading it and then, I cried and cried and had a bit of a faith crisis (in the life-saving kind of way). I can see why it's a best-seller!
"The Screwtape Letters": C.S. Lewis:
I was really ecited to find some C.S. Lewis on Sally's shelves (she's got a mix of all kinds of stuff) and I'd heard great things about this book. However, about 5 or 6 letters-from-Screwtape-to-Wormwood in, I started to realize that this book was really messing with me and that I was becoming paranoid, and overly worried about the state of my own soul and how Satan was tempting me and if I was "really" a believer or if I was on my way to Hell and I just didn't know it. I don't want to make the mistake of not acknowledging the power of the "enemies" but I also don't want to give into their own temptation of worrying about whether or not I'm saved, if I'm a "real" Christian, etc. So, I think I'm not just quite ready for this book yet. I do want to read more C.S. Lewis though...I'm sort of surprised I didn't bring more of my own C.S. Lewis along with me on this trip.
"Thirst": poems by Mary Oliver
Wow, if only I could write like her. She's very nature-oriented, simple until the last line or two when she says something totally unexpected but, as soon as you recover from the shock you also most wonder why you didn't think of it. She's apparently been at this for 4 decades and this particular volume is dedicated to her "partner" 0f 40 years...and grieving her loss. In this collection, it's a tie between "When I Am Among the Trees" and "When the Roses Speak, I Pay Attention". During a group meeting for the Iona Pilgrimage I can't WAIT to be on in about 3 weeks (whoa, hey!), another of Mary Oliver's poems came up, and I think it's the best poem, aside from my favorite forever, of course,) yet written. (The goose, for the Iona community, is the symbol of the Holy Spirit). This lady rocks, and it sort of hurts my soul a little bit. But, you can't ignore good poetry, eh? :-).
"TrueFaced": by Bill Thrall, Bob McNicol and John Lynch
This book was the only book in English at the Stu(e)rmer's house when I was in Switzerland that wasn't about computers or engineering (or Spanish). Good thing, too, because it revolutionized my way of thinking about God, dreaming and relationships. It was a fresh, never-before-encountered (by me) look at what it really means to trust God and the abundant, almost unthinkable life it brings. This is a life we all, in our own ways, dream of, perhaps we cannot put words to it, perhaps it has been too painful to think about, perhaps we use different words for talking about it, but this is a spunky, written-like-you'd-talk book about the very thing set deep within all of our hearts. I had to hurry through the last few chapters of this book because I ran out of time (I was too busy having an amazing time in Switzerland with an amazing family!) but I will probably need to come back to this book again, when I've healed more deeply - enough to where I can actually hear, accept, and believe/apply the things they talk about in this book (as in, when I'm not in the thick of a faith crisis...).
"Can Man Live Without God?" by Ravi Zacharias
I started reading this book due to a really intense crisis of faith born out of the painful reality of death (and the confusing nature of eternity). I'd been asking a lot of questions like, "Given death, what is the point of life?" and, in the midst of my own struggle for emotional and mental health, wondered what could possibly be the point of all this if life was so short and no one escapes death. The world didn't make sense (with or without God), and I felt like I was right where I was three years ago, only this time I WANTED to believe in God, I wanted there to be more...the world makes less sense if there is no God. I seemed to have gone from an astonishing "certainty" in my Christian faith - the Bible was being illuminated, I saw God everywhere and worship was finally making sense to me - to an all-consuming "is God even REAL? Is Jesus alive?"/"How can we trust the Bible?"/"What if we're wrong?" collapse. The effects of this alone might be able to prove that an atheistic (which is more often than not ANTI-theistic) worldview is not only logically incoherent, but has deadly results. Just as Mr. Zacharias argues. He even asserts that there is a "leap" of faith involved...but, unlike Kierkegaard who argues there is a leap "either way"...he says that the leap is really only in the direction that there is no God. His best argument, in my opinion was an answer to those that reject God and Christ on the basis of the untold violence wreaked upon humanity in His name. Zacharias argues, "Yes, but that would be inconsistent with the Christ of the Scriptures. (So, don't blame God for man's moral bankruptcy.) There has been just as much, if not more, violence, done because "there is no God." Such violence is actually NOT inconsistent with an atheistic/anti-theistic worldview, and that is the scariest thing of all." Anyway...really helpful book for those who need intellectual (as in, beyond the "I just take it on faith") answers to "Why God? Why Jesus? Why the Bible?" (in the face of unbelief and other-belief). (To be sure, I agree that we must take some things on faith, but FAITH itself cannot - logically or otherwise - be one of them). My only beef with Mr. Zacharias is that he merely assumes the authority of the Scriptures which may sound like a good Christian thing to do, but you don't even have to assume the authority of the Bible. Which is good, because that's not going to cut it for one who, a priori, does not. Anyway, this is an incredible book, not only for the questioning Christian, but for the Christian who wants to engage an increasingly anti-theistic world.
The Healing Path: by Dan Allender
I read 3/4 of this book on planes from Glasgow to Philly and Philly to Seattle (a total of 13 hours) and REALLY enjoyed it. I love the way Allender writes, it's lyrical, flowy and windy. As a friend who is attending the graduate school of which Dr. Allender is president once said, "Listening to him talk is like trying to drink from a fire hyrdant." Reading his writing is a bit like that, too. I love how he offered a fresh perspective on pain - he neither denies nor glorifies it - and how he handles people's woundedness - he affirms the difficulties that cause us all heartache while refusing to strip anyone of the dignity to make choices about life. His words are hopeful and encouraging, building-up to anyone (everyone?) who has experienced living on this planet for more than five minutes and is conscious.

Overall, I wish I'd read Zacharias' work first, or at least before "TrueFaced" because I think I would have gotten a lot more out of it, but I also think that the order in which I stumbled upon these books was somewhat ordained, too. I know I rant and rave about every book here, it seems, and that's because I generally love reading, but I really do think that my summer reading comprises a formidable list for anyone struggling with issues of healing, God, and life in general...from the Christian perspective, of course since I fully believe that is the first and foremost call on my life. I don't think I'll have too much more time to read until December with summer school and then the start of fall quarter (my 2nd to last quarter of college!), so I'm glad I got these books in!