Dublin, Part 2: Indiscriminate Acts of Kindness

After the main meeting in the mornings, we would get into our gear - the red t-shirt (we got to keep) and the "be safe, be seen" construction vest (that we, thank goodness, didn't have to keep) and split up into about 20 groups to go out all over the city and do whatever was needed. I'm not sure how Urban Soul knew what was needed around the city, but we had groups going to old folks homes to knit/spend time with the residents, to the streets of Dublin to give out free coffee/tea and biscuits, to people's homes to clean and paint, to various events around the city for children, to garden, etc.
My group (just outside the Dublin Christian Mission) from left to right: Mike (from Albany), Lisel (one of the directors of DCM, originally from Canada), Chuck (from Albany) Daniel (from Costa Rica), Father Rob, kneeling (the leader of the Albany group), Sarah (from Cali), James (from PA), Doris (from Albany), me and Manuel (from Nigeria), on the first two days, went to the Dublin Christian Mission. We got to be adventurous and take the Luas System to get out a bit further than the other groups who were on foot did. For reference, we started at Connolly Station and took it to the DCM at Four Corners. At the DCM - whose walls are covered with paintings of looney tunes characters combined with Bible verses (it's actually quite clever) - we cleaned out all their rooms (this is just one of the three sides rooms that I helped Daniel clean out) to get ready for their 9 summer camps they have throughout the country during the summer season. We took the clothes, shoes and toys we found while cleaning out their rooms to their homeless ministry further in the city called "The Lighthouse." We organized food for the camps, cleaned the kitchen, and even prepared some decorations for their camp. I traced (from a projector) and painted the "Summer Project" banner (that they want to re-use every year!) by myself! I thought I would use my decorative inklings and add a few things so, in case the picture is too small to see: the little black things by the "Ms" are spokes for tents (and people inside them), the green by the "S" is grass, the green under the "r" in Summer is a stem that makes the "r" a flower of sorts, the yellow by the "P" are stars, and the yellow under the "o" are hands ready to "catch" the "O." I couldn't think of anything else in the short time I had, but perhaps they can use the blank space in some other artistic way...

On Friday, they split our group in two and I got to "lead" the group even further out (from the Luas map it's from Connolly to Drimnagh station) to an "estate" (the US equivalent of a project housing development) and we got to help out with a sports day/community event for the children there. We had sack races, spoon-and-spoon races (where you have to balance a potato on a spoon and run as fast as you can without dropping it), three legged races, basketball tournaments, 100 yard dash, and, of course, sumo wrestling. We offered hot dogs and ice cream to the children and there was even an awards ceremony, to which the Archbishop of Ireland came. Mark Ritchie was there on his visit around the city to the various projects Urban Soul was doing and he kept saying (in his AWESOME Scottish accent), "You guys are just doin' brilliant!" I think "brilliant" is this part of the world's equivalent to "awesome", not "really geniusly smart" like what it means in the States. The ironic thing is that most people (even the lady I'm staying with, who is originally from Canada but lived in Seattle) doesn't know what "that's awesome" means. She gave me a "goosebury" to try (freshly picked from her backyard) and I exclaimed, "These are awesome!" and she says, "I don't know what that means, is that good or bad?" I love things like this!
During the morning meeting, one of the speakers challenged us to "dream big" during the day. I was not doing a whole lot on Friday - I was manning the sack race station and holding the finish line rope and, again, feeling quite awkward not knowing what to say or do except clap and cheer...and I believe God was speaking to me. I'm not sure if it was just a wild dream or if God was actually revealing more of my calling...we'll have to see. Anyway, I believe God "highlighted" two children for me to pray for - one was Ben, a very cute but really disruptive little boy, about 6. I "dreamt big" for him that he would grow up to be a leader in this community - a pastor, even. The other was a little girl, about 7 - Shauna. She seemed so delicate and shy (a lot like how I feel) and I "dreamt big" for her, and prayed for a husband like the one I desire for her.
After the last main meeting/worship/speaker (Mark Ritchie is unbearably hysterical, truly), instead of staying for the Open Mic Night (because those things always make me feel anxious whether or not I'm participating in them for whatever reason), Joann and I went out to see a bit of Dublin. We wandered around a bit and found that, at least in the part of Dublin we were staying in (basically the city's centre), there is a large amount of authentic Italian restaurants. We found one, with this painting (I couldn't get a good picture because it was late and dark and I couldn't find it again the next day so the strategically placed bright spot was just coincidentally where the flash bounced back) outside its window. We discussed the various possible interpretations over bread and four different kinds of pesto. While that sounds exotic (and somewhat random, to be eating authentic Italian food in Ireland, but I have to say, they do it MUCH better than the places I've tried in the States), I couldn't help but feel rather guilty. I know I deal with that a lot, but it's just not really all that fun for me to go out and spend money on myself anymore. I grew out of shopping a while ago - not only is it, to me, pointless to bring home a bunch of stuff that was made to be obsolete (whether in function or perception) and will end up in a landfill somewhere since most things are STILL not really made to be recyclable, but the world is becoming increasingly needy, and I can't really justify going out to eat very easily anymore.
That was one of the things with which I was contending while doing my service project. I was standing around "doing nothing" because I don't know how to interact with people very well, and I sort of feel like that's what I do in the face of the world's pain. I want to do something, and I feel very bad when I don't, but I freeze, I clam up, I don't know what to do. I'm learning in a very real way that giving is receiving, and letting go of one's own life (in very many ways) really is saving it. The knowledge of this, though, isn't readily translating into action. My ex-roommate is serving in Argentina right now on a YWAM DTS project. My mother ex-roommate went to Africa. I got an e-mail from my Nana this morning about what my father does with his faith. (I know they both read this, and so sometimes, what I put up here makes me a little bit self-conscious). I'm not there yet, and it's really hard because I don't really have a good reason not to be (other than selfishness, which is only "good" because it's true). I don't know what, other than a rather large move of God, is going to get me there. I have put in an inuqiry with an organization here in Belfast called Youth Initiatives that I found out by meeting some of their volunteers this week at Urban Soul, so we'll see what comes of that.
Anyway, obviously a lot more prayer is needed. I don't want to do random acts of kindness because it feels good to do them. I mean, that's not really that loving, right? I know of a person who loved his girlfriend "not necessarily so that she would know it, but so that he would be more loving." That doesn't make sense. I don't know what to love "for me." That's not love. I mean, that's why books like "The 5 Love Languages" are written in the first place. I'm listening to all these sermons about love, about community and how the pursuit of maturity is never an individualistic undertaking, how we need each other, how long-term relationships are the only way people ever get to know the love of Christ, even how responding to a needy world because you see and are moved by the need is not actually what the gospel is about - it's about Jesus Christ and HIS power to do good works in and through you. But I don't want to talk about it or listen about it anymore.

I want to know
for real in my life
what happens in truth
with the fall-out of strife

I want to see
beyond all the doubt
what it really means
to be for-Jesus poured out

I want to hold
the results in my hand
of the Love over above
anything I understand

And I want to know, Jesus
what You can do
with a life full-on
surrendered to only You