"Do you have a moment to tell your daughter she's amazing?"

Maj-Britt (the wife) called her husband at work to celebrate Myanna (their daughter). She is starting to be able to read the alphabet (she's only two). She put Clinton on speakerphone and together they celebrated their princess. He was not phased at ALL by the "interruption" at work.

I continued in my studies, organized some things online, and took a rather long walk today - finally able to worship again! - because the sun was out for a long time (a very rare thing in Scotland...but I'm used to that, after three years in Seattle...). I did a lot of thinking and praying, and, it was good. I read another letter and some more devotional type things. I've been discussing some of my faith issues with friends and I think the main thing that comes up for me now isn't so much death as it is eternal life. With every tear wiped from every eye, and with boundless amounts of time, what will we do? Where will the meaning go? I know, my puny little brain cannot possibly comprehend all of this, so I think I just have to "surrender eternity" to God...obviously. But, it makes it difficult for me, as the e-devotional (from Daily Meditations of Henri Nouwen) my father (who, like me, does not believe in consequences) sent me says, to want to "go home":

Taking the Sting Out of Death:
Dying is returning home. But even though we have been told this many times by many people, we seldom desire to return home. We prefer to stay where we are. We know what we have; we do not know what we will get. Even the most appealing images of the afterlife cannot take away the fear of dying. We cling to life, even when our relationships are difficult, our economic circumstances harsh, and our health quite poor. Still, Jesus came to take the sting out of death and to help us gradually realise that we don't have to be afraid of death, since death leads us to the place where the deepest desires of our hearts will be satisfied. It is not easy for us to truly believe that, but every little gesture of trust will bring us closer to this truth.

It's hard for me to want to go home because this is all I know, and here, at least I know I've got work to do, you know? The earth's got big problems (which don't, ironically, scare me as much as they used to since I, somewhere in there, know that this isn't my home...) and there's stuff to be done and there is a limit on all of us (death). I think it's also deeply difficult for me to believe I will see my loved ones who have died (and who will die) again - I don't know, it seems just "too good to be true"...I have a bigger problem, though, with eternity. It just seems like an overwhelming amount of time, but "no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived of what God has planned for those who love Him."

Despite all this, I THINK I'm starting to relax. One encouragement was getting my poetry published online (scroll down to about halfway on the main page, "I Am" is my favorite poem I've ever written, the other one...meh). Another amazing help has been the lovely family I'm staying with here. My time really has gone fast - I can't believe tomorrow is my last full day before I meet my SPU crew for the crowning jewel of this trip. The meals here have been amazing (and really educational - did you know that sugar may be sweet, but, apparently...it can kill) the fellowship has been wonderful...I sort of feel guilty. I think I have a twinge of that sort of "I'm putting you out feeling" whenever I receive something good, as if the way I show my gratitude is to feel bad and act like I don't deserve it to show you that I REALLY am receiving it. But that's not grace at all, and it totally impairs one's ability to receive love, which, if I'm reading the Bible right, receiving love precedes giving love. So, Father, help me to simply receive love, regardless of whether I feel like I deserve it or not. Love doesn't speak the same language as deserving, and it's not about that at all. Amen.

(My church is going camping this weekend - this is the 2nd year I've been out-of-state for it. I sort of wish I could be there since it was so fun two years ago (even though it was cold enough that I had to sleep in a car...) but, I get to be in beautiful scenery (just off the main road I walked on for about two hours today), too (and then, on a beautiful, secluded Scottish Island after having traveled a bit of Europe and the most beautiful country in the world (Switzerland, obviously) so I shouldn't really complain...except that I am relational to the core, and really can't wait to share this trip with my friends back home. My bragging about you all back home has been enough for Maj-britt to be rather amazed at how good of friends I have back home...)